what a week

Today is the day after Thanksgiving. As thankful as I am for my wonderful life, my sweet family, and my amazing community, this Thanksgiving also found me in a state of grief and disbelief.

My grandfather died last Friday. On the same day I learned that one of my dearest friends has cancer. I alternate between a sense of static shock and frenetic, useless action. The last week of my life might be best described through a series of statistics:

31 - hours Rohanna, Lucy and I spent in airports, airplanes and automobiles traveling from Oregon to New Hampshire and back.
4- hours we spent shaking strangers' hands during calling hours at the funeral home.
91 - age my grandfather was on the day he died.
33 - age Jess turned on Thanksgiving day, four days after she was diagnosed with cancer.
5 - times Lucy woke up each night that we were in New Hampshire.
0 - number of people besides me that Lucy would allow to hold her while we were in New Hampshire.
9 - number of voicemails on my phone on Tuesday from people inquiring about Jess.
2 - number of New Hampshire governors that spoke at my grandfather's memorial service.
2 - times I cried for Jess during my grandfather's service.
7 - hour at which I got into bed the night I came home from New Hampshire.
3 - glasses of wine I drank in bed that evening while on the phone with my friend Rebecca talking about how unfair everything feels.
100 - percent sure I am that Jess will beat this thing with her usual humor and grace, and that next year we'll celebrate with gratitude that it is all behind us.
unknown - number of days though, before life feels beautiful again.

philanthropy and new jeans

Lucy and I spent a few days in St. Paul, Minnesota last week attending a semi annual meeting of the board of the Weyerhaeuser Family Foundation. We stayed with our good friends and cousins, the Titcombs, who are excellent hosts. (It's not their fault Lucy wouldn't sleep in Taylor's bassinet.) Even though we were both frizzled on Friday from lack of sleep, we enjoyed the company of our "cousins," it wasn't too cold yet, and I even found some new jeans that fit!

Although on Friday Lucy spent the day giving her babysitter a bad time, on Saturday she attended the meeting with me. She listened intently to the discussion about engaging more family members in the foundation, but got squirmy during the investment committee report so we retired to the family archive room and nursed while contemplating various family trees and photographs.


It was, as always, inspiring and gratifying to participate in the family foundation. This foundation represents over 350 family members and gifts over $800,000 annually to nonprofits all over the world. It is an amazing feeling to be part of a family endeavor that helps people with everything from therapy services in rural Oklahoma to sustainable reforestation in places like Ghana and Nicaragua.

My cousin Megan is in the process of becoming a certified doula, and in addition to shopping for jeans, we talked a lot about the state of childbirth in our country. While I was there she attended a birth with a woman who, with Megan's help, was able to have a successful VBAC naturally. Hurray for doulas! Spread the word...

yabba dabba do

Yes, the adults dressed up too. Every year our good friends the Taylors throw a themed halloween party. This year they had just bought a house built in 1965 (and never updated, see the wallpaper below). So the theme was 1965. Tom Wolfe was there, as was Truman Capote and George Bush as a cheerleader at Yale. People brought Waldorf Salad and TV dinners.

We went as Fred and Wilma Flintstone. Summer and Ayren dressed up as Barney and Betty Rubble. I broke my no homemade costume rule for this plan - it was worth it. We made them out of fleece (a lovely, warm and forgiving fabric) the day of the party.

Rohanna went as James Bond and Nathan as her Bond Girl. It was frightening, she even had fake chest hair. Jess was astroturf, which was apparently invented in 1965.

halloween...a little late

Sharing the halloween pictures, finally.

A disclaimer: I did not make the kids' costumes this year. I let myself off the hook. A little part of me died however, when Milo chose a slinky polyester power ranger costume at Party City, made in Bangladesh by a 6 year old ... Liam was a vampire. He put his costume together himself, and other than the black hairspray that got all over everything and the fake teeth that didn't fit, he was happy.

Lucile the baby dragon.

Trick or treating.

Exhausted boys, kept going by copious amounts of sugar.

Milo's halloween-themed birthday party. We bobbed for apples, played hide and seek, and Joel made an ice cream cake.

proud to be an american

We greet the next era with relief. Also, hope, pride, and nervous anticipation. We are proud to be part of an outraged majority that is calling for change in our country and the world.

We toasted President-elect Obama on Tuesday night, with the same group of friends with whom we watched the dismal and disappointing returns four years ago. The difference between this Tuesday and that darker Tuesday in 2004 did not go unnoticed among our friends gathered at Rohanna's house.

Rohanna and Joel watch nervously,

before CNN called the election for Obama.

Liam and Milo check returns on the laptop

(or are they playing Miniclip...?).

Liam sat with me to watch Obama's victory speech.

I told him he was witnessing history.

I told him he'd remember this night for the rest of his life.

november 3

Some are calling this the most important election of our lives, to date. Is it? I don't know, I think all elections are important. But this one is certainly significant. Our nation is facing problems of historic proportions - economic crisis, our role in climate change, millions of uninsured children, a mouldering war in Iraq, a dismal international reputation.... Voting tonight sure seemed like one of the most important things I've done in a long time.

I caught a snippet of some inane radio talk show today, on which someone said that he wasn't going to bother voting because Obama had already won Oregon. But as I sat at my kitchen table with my ballot spread out in front of me, it occurred to me how easy it is to vote, either way. In the privacy of our own homes, or our own voting booths, you just never know what people will do. And, for the first time yet (although the paper has been reporting for days on the phenomenon of political anxiety), I felt the buzz of nervous energy. I hope that by this time tomorrow it's replaced by a sweet sense of relief.

Here's Lucy and me, voting for Barack Obama, for Kitty Piercy (Eugene Mayor), for Jeff Merkely (OR Senator), and Kate Brown (Oregon Secretary of State).

We're voting against English-only education too.

I was browsing facebook tonight and stumbled across these lovely and reassuring words. They are by Pearl Jam, Live at the Gorge, July 22, 2006. (Thanks Jill.)

This is our chance

This is our lives

This is our planet we're standing on.

Use your choice

Use your voice

You can save our tomorrows now.

This is our plea
This is our need

This is our time of standing free.

It's okay!

It's okay!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ljsLZ5rGUKg